Yesterday was a big day for the Jackson's I think bigger in the spiritual realm than we may even know? It felt so average and normal, but I am learning that these are the moments and times when God seems to prefer to work.
First of all, I haven't shared this with anyone but our little family because, well, I am not sure why? I suppose it feels really private and amazing, but also I am in a bit of a secluded time of life I suppose. But here it is...
Yesterday, June 25th, at nap time, Ashton asked Jesus to be his Savior!
I was doing my usual routine with him at nap: sing, pray, tell stories. I started praying over him after we were all done and he thought this was hilarious and wanted me to keep doing it. As I tried to explain what I was doing this led to what I like to call one of our "baby theology" discussions. This consists of him asking me tons of questions about Jesus, dying on the cross, our sins, and he even said word for word "how do we get to heaven?"
We have had conversations like this several times before, but I felt like it was almost like God was prompting this one differently. We talked for about 20 minutes, going around the same questions as he pondered each answer thoughtfully. Usually I say to him as we end these conversations that when he is ready, if he wants to ask Jesus to forgive his sins and come live inside him that he can. This time after explaining everything I just asked him, "do you want to ask Jesus to come live in your heart?" and he said..."yeah!" So I had him pray after me and now he's a whole new man. Ha ha ;)
I know he is very young, but I have friends who accepted the Lord when they were three and still remember it and mark it as their day of salvation. I came into my room after and prayed God would seal this day as the moment, the first day of his spiritual life, and other mommy prayers that we pray.
It struck me as the defining moment of why I have chosen to be a stay at home mom. Boy have I felt guilty most of Ashton's life for struggling with his birth and crying most days of his life. Sure I was messing up every single day and ruining him forever. But God has laid on my heart from his birth, in all my imperfections to pray for wisdom for him and this has been maybe my one constant with him his whole life. Now that prayer has been expanded to wisdom, love Jesus with all of his heart, love His word, and protection for his mind, body and spirit. Simple and repetitive and who knows what I should add or say more eloquently, but watching his little self do something so significant is worth more than even I could take in, in that moment. What an amazing thing to be able to watch someone's spiritual life unfold and truly be able to witness God make them into who He has made them, and truly disciple them along the way, and I mean every step of the way. Surely there are many days of learning, mistakes and struggle, but that is all in the beauty of the journey.
And as I pray for Ashton and continued to talk to the Lord I asked Him to continue to guide me, speak to me about my calling, allow us to be encouraged that night at the small group and this was my last line...
We went to the small group, the one my parent's have been attending regularly but I have only been to once. The last time was the beginning of April when I wrote this post about them praying for me. I believe Robert has the gift of healing because since that day I have been able to have more strength and ability to be restored. I don't believe it was all just from that prayer, but I think it opened a door for me to be able to do the work God needed me to do with Him.
The God thing about last night was that he was going to tell my parents that he felt he needed to pray for me again, and didn't have any clue that both Daniel and I would be coming that night. I was so thankful, but not really all that surprised by it. The amazing thing was, that when it was time for them to pray for me he said "Ashley I want to pray for you again and seal what the Lord has done in you" He even emphasized seal as his wife was making sure we understood his NornIrish accent, which I do;) He prayed for me, then had Daniel, then my dad and my mom all pray over me. He prayed for the gift of faith for me, which I believe is one of my gifts, but it has been so squelched in past years. Also he prayed that the depression would never return, that it was broken forever, that it was done. That in my time of ultimate vulnerability when the baby is being born that I will be free, have peace, and the whole process would be so different.
I have been praying about this here and there for some time now as I know how it was for me last time, and as I mentioned in the C-section post. I trust Robert's relationship with the Lord immensely and am so grateful that the Lord spoke to someone I barely know to pray things over me that are tremendously important to me. At the end of the prayer session he took my hands and asked me if I knew why the Lord had healed me and I said "because I am His", and he said, "Yes, and because you are that precious to Him. This was not something He wanted, He wants it out of your life."
In the moment I received it, but reflecting back on it is even more meaningful. Just the way the Lord is answering me so quickly and immediately, it truly blows me away. And I thank Him and glorify Him and pray that I will be able to serve others because of His goodness towards me.
God does come and meet us in the hidden ordinary places.
He has come and He is looking at me.